I didn't think I would have a chance to see Daniel this weekend because I was heading off on a women's retreat Friday after school and returning late Sunday afternoon. So, I spent Thursday afternoon at Gentle Hands instead of going about my regularly scheduled Thursday events. It was a good time with Daniel (and all my other little buddies too!).
However, this morning, my car-mates and I were happy to head out of the retreat center a bit early, and with great traffic (unheard of in Manila!), managed to get home by 2:30. After dropping everyone off, I decided to head off to GH, as I usually do on Sunday afternoons.
OH, was it WORTH it! I walked into the nursery and Daniel was sitting in his crib. When he saw me, his eyes lit up and he jumped up, and he kept jumping excitedly until I reached the crib to pick him up. My heart melted as I held him close for a snuggle.
The next 2 hours were fun, as Daniel battled his nursery and toddler buddies for lap-space (I'm pretty sure I had seven kids, ages 1-5 years, on my lap all at the same time). He's not always good at sharing me with the others, but he's starting to get better at it. He tolerates the older kids better than Abby and Jonalyn, both of whom are right around his age. And he WON'T stand for Rammie to be in my lap even a little! Daniel certainly has a strong personality, but he's such a sweet and sensitive kid. We just need to work on those tantrums...
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
The BIG News
The start of a new blog has an interesting feeling to it. I used to blog, but over the past few years, have fallen out of the habit. I've decided to start one up again, in light of the new direction my life seems to be going. Yes, it's a long post for a first time, but it contains all the important information about this "New Direction". Please prayerfully read through to the end. I welcome comments, questions, etc. You can also send me an email or fb message rather than posting for the world to see, and I will respond to each one. If you don't have my email, please leave yours in a private message and I will get back to you.
For the past few years, I’ve admired how various missionaries in the community have given up their time over Christmas and Easter breaks to foster children from The Little Children’s Home (a local orphanage) to give the staff a break. This year, because I had no plans to leave town for most of the Christmas break, I thought it would be a good idea if I put myself on the list to look after one of the babies. However, in the midst of the busyness of life, by the time I managed to get around to signing up, alas, the babies had been placed and I had missed the opportunity. I decided it would still be a good idea to look after a little one for Christmas, so I contacted Charity Graff, the director of Gentle Hands and asked her if there was a little one who might benefit from some time out of the orphanage. (I taught Charity’s son last year at Faith, and even brought my class to GH for a ministry trip.) Charity thought it was a good idea, so the next day I picked up 14 month old Daniel and kept him over Christmas for six days.
A week later, I asked Charity if I
could take him again for the few days we had before the second semester started at Faith. During the previous week, I couldn’t stop thinking and talking about my time with Daniel. When I went to pick him up again, Charity and I talked about the idea of fostering and single-parent adoptions. Since January, I’ve been praying and seeking God’s answer to the question of “now what?”. Or even if there IS a “now what?”. While I still don’t know the final answer, I do know that the opportunity is available for fostering and adopting this precious boy. Also, I’ve spent every Sunday afternoon for the past month at Gentle Hands, falling in love with the 20+ kids that I interact with regularly. The reality is that even if I do go ahead with fostering and adoption, I may not end up with Daniel, because no one ever knows what will happen with paperwork, his or mine. I’ve been weighing that idea heavily, and know that while I could end up with a broken heart over it, I know that God might place a different child with me who needs a forever family instead, and I will trust in His choice for me and for the child He may choose to place in my care.
The idea isn’t totally out of the blue. I’ve always been involved in children’s ministry, in addition to teaching, and have always desired to have children of my own. The idea of adoption is one that I considered long ago, and I have had many conversations with various people about the subject. In fact, after my first year in the Philippines, my mom and I had a conversation where we discussed that she’d very likely have “brown-skinned” grandchildren. More recently, I’ve even had conversations about adopting as a single, feeling out people’s opinions on the subject, because at 30 and unmarried, I don’t really know if finding a husband will ever happen. Certainly my childbearing years are quickly passing, and I wouldn’t want to begin a family when I’m nearing retirement (I know it’s a bit of an exaggeration, but who knows what will happen?)
I also believe that this isn’t just an emotional response to babysitting. I feel that the information that I’ve learned and the things that are lining up may be God giving the green light that this is the time for this major step. The first is that the Philippines has recently changed a law regarding fostering to adopt. In the past, the law said that it was a “no-no”, and foster parents had to sign something that said they had no intention of adopting the child they were looking after. However, that law has now changed, and the rule has been eliminated, so I could foster for a few months until Daniel's paperwork is in order, and then make the steps towards adoption.
Second, Gentle Hands is one of only four children’s home facilities in Manila that has the ability to license foster parents living in the NCR (National Capital Region), with the goal of adopting. A roadblock in this for me was that Cainta, the city where I live, isn’t in the NCR and of course, I’m quite settled in my house. However, I believe God is interjecting in this situation as well: the owner of the house was in town over the past few weeks (she lives in California). It seems that she is considering selling the house, and is having it appraised by three different realtors. If she sells, I’ll certainly need to move out. The other side of this is that I realized that Riverside (another neighborhood) is in Pasig, which IS part of the NCR, and I believe Riverside is close enough to be involved at Faith and to have good community around me. I'm currently house-hunting, and there are already quite a few available options.
There are so many questions to be answered in considering this HUGE step in a new direction. Of course, my status as a single must be considered, but I do have a bit of a clue what it would be like, having been raised in a single-parent home myself. I know it would be difficult, and that I would need a good community around me. I also know that it is definitely possible for singles to adopt in the Philippines.
The next big question for me was, “How will this change/affect/end my ministry in the Philippines?” The reality, as I see it, is that I wouldn’t be able to continue teaching full-time with a toddler. While finding a “yaya”, or nanny, would probably be fairly easy, I know the amount of time it takes to be a full-time teacher – I generally leave the house at 6am and don’t return until 5pm. This would definitely not be ideal. So I’ve thought of options that involve continuing in ministry, but in a slightly different capacity, in order to have time to spend as a family. I've recently spoken and semi-confirmed with my principal that I will be teaching computer classes for the elementary division at Faith Aca
demy next year. This position seems to fit well, as it really is a part-time position, and I would get to interact with all of the elementary students on a weekly basis. In addition to teaching part-time, I would also like to continue my new ministry of spending time at Gentle Hands Children's Home, plus a weekly Saturday morning outreach to Malabon, one of the poorest communities in the Philippines.
There are many other questions rolling around in my head and heart, but my ministry is the main reason that I’ve written this post. If I go ahead with this, I would need to stay in the Philippines at least until the adoption is finalized. In fact, ultimately, I don’t actually want to leave ministry here at all, and would like to continue serving with First Love as long as God leads and provides. As my friends, family, and supporters, I value your opinions and seek your blessing to go ahead with this, as the Lord leads.
I would like to hear questions you have, and to hear your insight on the matter as well. Hopefully I am guessing at your hearts correctly, as I hope you will be supportive of my desire to reach out to the orphan in my midst and to give him a forever family. The Bible clearly shows God's heart for the orphan, and I'm just trying to follow His leading in this life-changing decision.
James 1:27
For the past few years, I’ve admired how various missionaries in the community have given up their time over Christmas and Easter breaks to foster children from The Little Children’s Home (a local orphanage) to give the staff a break. This year, because I had no plans to leave town for most of the Christmas break, I thought it would be a good idea if I put myself on the list to look after one of the babies. However, in the midst of the busyness of life, by the time I managed to get around to signing up, alas, the babies had been placed and I had missed the opportunity. I decided it would still be a good idea to look after a little one for Christmas, so I contacted Charity Graff, the director of Gentle Hands and asked her if there was a little one who might benefit from some time out of the orphanage. (I taught Charity’s son last year at Faith, and even brought my class to GH for a ministry trip.) Charity thought it was a good idea, so the next day I picked up 14 month old Daniel and kept him over Christmas for six days.
A week later, I asked Charity if I
could take him again for the few days we had before the second semester started at Faith. During the previous week, I couldn’t stop thinking and talking about my time with Daniel. When I went to pick him up again, Charity and I talked about the idea of fostering and single-parent adoptions. Since January, I’ve been praying and seeking God’s answer to the question of “now what?”. Or even if there IS a “now what?”. While I still don’t know the final answer, I do know that the opportunity is available for fostering and adopting this precious boy. Also, I’ve spent every Sunday afternoon for the past month at Gentle Hands, falling in love with the 20+ kids that I interact with regularly. The reality is that even if I do go ahead with fostering and adoption, I may not end up with Daniel, because no one ever knows what will happen with paperwork, his or mine. I’ve been weighing that idea heavily, and know that while I could end up with a broken heart over it, I know that God might place a different child with me who needs a forever family instead, and I will trust in His choice for me and for the child He may choose to place in my care.The idea isn’t totally out of the blue. I’ve always been involved in children’s ministry, in addition to teaching, and have always desired to have children of my own. The idea of adoption is one that I considered long ago, and I have had many conversations with various people about the subject. In fact, after my first year in the Philippines, my mom and I had a conversation where we discussed that she’d very likely have “brown-skinned” grandchildren. More recently, I’ve even had conversations about adopting as a single, feeling out people’s opinions on the subject, because at 30 and unmarried, I don’t really know if finding a husband will ever happen. Certainly my childbearing years are quickly passing, and I wouldn’t want to begin a family when I’m nearing retirement (I know it’s a bit of an exaggeration, but who knows what will happen?)
I also believe that this isn’t just an emotional response to babysitting. I feel that the information that I’ve learned and the things that are lining up may be God giving the green light that this is the time for this major step. The first is that the Philippines has recently changed a law regarding fostering to adopt. In the past, the law said that it was a “no-no”, and foster parents had to sign something that said they had no intention of adopting the child they were looking after. However, that law has now changed, and the rule has been eliminated, so I could foster for a few months until Daniel's paperwork is in order, and then make the steps towards adoption.
Second, Gentle Hands is one of only four children’s home facilities in Manila that has the ability to license foster parents living in the NCR (National Capital Region), with the goal of adopting. A roadblock in this for me was that Cainta, the city where I live, isn’t in the NCR and of course, I’m quite settled in my house. However, I believe God is interjecting in this situation as well: the owner of the house was in town over the past few weeks (she lives in California). It seems that she is considering selling the house, and is having it appraised by three different realtors. If she sells, I’ll certainly need to move out. The other side of this is that I realized that Riverside (another neighborhood) is in Pasig, which IS part of the NCR, and I believe Riverside is close enough to be involved at Faith and to have good community around me. I'm currently house-hunting, and there are already quite a few available options.
There are so many questions to be answered in considering this HUGE step in a new direction. Of course, my status as a single must be considered, but I do have a bit of a clue what it would be like, having been raised in a single-parent home myself. I know it would be difficult, and that I would need a good community around me. I also know that it is definitely possible for singles to adopt in the Philippines.
The next big question for me was, “How will this change/affect/end my ministry in the Philippines?” The reality, as I see it, is that I wouldn’t be able to continue teaching full-time with a toddler. While finding a “yaya”, or nanny, would probably be fairly easy, I know the amount of time it takes to be a full-time teacher – I generally leave the house at 6am and don’t return until 5pm. This would definitely not be ideal. So I’ve thought of options that involve continuing in ministry, but in a slightly different capacity, in order to have time to spend as a family. I've recently spoken and semi-confirmed with my principal that I will be teaching computer classes for the elementary division at Faith Aca
demy next year. This position seems to fit well, as it really is a part-time position, and I would get to interact with all of the elementary students on a weekly basis. In addition to teaching part-time, I would also like to continue my new ministry of spending time at Gentle Hands Children's Home, plus a weekly Saturday morning outreach to Malabon, one of the poorest communities in the Philippines. There are many other questions rolling around in my head and heart, but my ministry is the main reason that I’ve written this post. If I go ahead with this, I would need to stay in the Philippines at least until the adoption is finalized. In fact, ultimately, I don’t actually want to leave ministry here at all, and would like to continue serving with First Love as long as God leads and provides. As my friends, family, and supporters, I value your opinions and seek your blessing to go ahead with this, as the Lord leads.
I would like to hear questions you have, and to hear your insight on the matter as well. Hopefully I am guessing at your hearts correctly, as I hope you will be supportive of my desire to reach out to the orphan in my midst and to give him a forever family. The Bible clearly shows God's heart for the orphan, and I'm just trying to follow His leading in this life-changing decision.
James 1:27
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